Birthday
Front: YOUR MAMA DID NOT RAISE A FOOL!

Inside: Your dad had a hand in it, too. Happy Birthday!

Birthday
Front: They say that the greatest gifts come from within...

Inside: ...but I don't think they meant farts! Happy Birthday!

Birthday
Front: Growing older is just like riding a bicycle

Inside: ...off a cliff. Happy Birthday!

Birthday
Front: For your birthday, I filled a hot tub full of apples and gorgeous naked men...

Inside: If anybody asks, we're bobbing for apples.  Happy Birthday!

Birthday
Front: At your age, when someone asks "are those real?"

Inside: They're referring to your teeth. Happy Birthday!

Birthday
Front: Don't worry.  You're not old...

Inside: ...until this looks good. Happy Birthday!

Pregnancy
Front: (Image) Beached whale

Inside: You're pregnant! Congratulations!

Friendship
Front: (Image) Guy at bar

Inside: How's it hangin'?