Front: It is one of life’s great truths that wisdom comes with age…

Inside: ...unless of course, you’re a man. Happy Birthday!

Front: They say that the greatest gifts come from within...

Inside: ...but I don't think they meant farts! Happy Birthday!

Front: Growing older is just like riding a bicycle

Inside: ...off a cliff. Happy Birthday!

Front: For your birthday, I filled a hot tub full of apples and gorgeous naked men...

Front: Happy Birthday! At your age, you’re probably still enjoying golf, tennis, skiing…

Inside: ...and whatever else is on TV.

Front: Don't worry.  You're not old...

Front: Hope Your Birthday...

Inside: ...has a happy ending! Happy Birthday!