Front: Never trust anybody over 30 (crossed out) 60

Front: In honor of your birthday

Inside: ...I decided to crack one! Happy Birthday!

Front: (Image) Guy trying to touch toes

Inside: Oh well, how often do you really need to bend over and touch your toes?  Happy Birthday!

Front: Don't let anyone tell you you're old.

Front: As you journey through life…

Inside: ...don't forget to stop and smell the butts along the way! Happy Birthday!

Front: You are a fun, fearless and confident woman!

Inside: Now go ahead and show that cake who's boss! Happy Birthday!

Front: (Image) Woman standing on scale

Inside: Happy Birthday! ...to someone who’s been with me thru thick and thin!